#2: Start Training Young.

Here is a useful saying for parenting: "Start as you mean to go on." I've found this to apply in many small ways.

If you don't want your one-year-old to grab your glasses, don't let her do it when she is four months old and learning how to swipe at things.

If you don't want your toddler to roll over and run away from you when you change his diaper on the floor, don't let him do it when he is six months old. Hold him still every time, and it becomes a simple, gentle discipline. He won't learn to later roll over and escape when he is bigger, faster, and harder to wrangle if you make the choice to stop him the first several times he tries. You've already taught him "no" in that area without even having to say the word.

If you don't want your toddler to throw her food on the floor, don't laugh when she does it the first time at ten months old (no matter how cute it actually may be that first time!). And don't pick it up for her. Throwing one's food on the floor... and then having no more food to eat... turns out not to be all that fun by itself. Say something like, "Uh-oh, it looks like you threw your food on the floor. All done eating!" A few times of unsmiling, straightforward responses from the parents makes the throwing-food thing lose all appeal.

I don't apply the "start as you mean to go on" to sleep training. Babies are babies, and they sleep like babies... waking up often to nurse and cuddle. This is called comfort. And it's important. Very, very, very important.

I intend to be there for my children as they grow. Not always to be nursed and cuddled... they will outgrow that without me having to push them into it... but I intend for them to know that their needs matter, and that I will be there for them. So although I have always chosen to nurse and rock my babies to sleep, and that is something I don't intend to do forever, I am "starting as I mean to go on" in that I am showing them compassion and love through being there for them.

I have heard many new mamas express concern that rocking and nursing babies to sleep, or cuddling them, or that sort of thing, will make them unable to ever sleep independently. Nope! It doesn't. My older three have transitioned into sleeping on their own and through the night just when it was the right time for them, but without the trauma of crying themselves to sleep. Trust me. Trust your baby. Your child won't be spoiled if you rock him and cuddle him and nurse him to sleep... he will be comforted, and made more secure in your love for him.